I don’t remember exactly the time, only the thoughts and emotions I felt.
In those long hours sometime between dusk and midnight, before my wife would go into delivery, I had a lot of time to sit there and think.
We were about to bring a little girl into this world, and I was overjoyed. It was a long journey to get to this point and we couldn’t wait.
There was another part of me, though, that held a fear and uncertainty about the future. What kind of world would we be bringing her into?
For weeks I had been processing through the anger, grief, and disillusionment over the recent spate of attacks and killings against the AAPI community. More than ever, I was fearful for my parents, fearful for my pregnant wife, fearful for my elderly uncles and aunties.
It’s one thing to withstand an awkward stare or a joke in poor taste. It’s another to literally have to fend off a physical threat the moment you walk out in public.
On top of it all, it’s the mostly silent coverage from major media and news outlets. A lot of us feel unseen. Inaudible. That’s the underlying pulse of this whole struggle. How can we prevent crime, much less seek justice, if people don’t even care or think that it exists?
It’s a lot to take in for sure. The senseless violence and pain across all groups has been a slow burn and sharp crescendo all at once. My heart has been battered for months and for days.
Yet, if you are feeling anything like I’m feeling, hope is still very much alive. In the midst of great pain and darkness there is a calling. For some of us, it’s simply a call to wake up and step into the brokenness. To play your role in being an advocate and striving for a more perfect union.
Perhaps you haven’t had to “concerned yourself with such matters” before. Now, you know in a very real way how the other shoe fits.
I’m talking about those in the BIPOC, Muslims, LGBTQ+, and immigrant communities. All the pain and trauma that our friends and neighbors in these marginalized groups have had to experience, some of them for far too long. May we consider our experience now and cast it against the light of their collective struggle. Empathy becomes real only when it’s internalized.
No matter our differences (or perhaps, because of them), we should be committed to making a safe space for our brothers and sisters—regardless of how they identify—to belong in this society. We must stand for their equal rights.
My hope is that we will live in boldness and not in fear. That we will speak up and fight against any injustice, to do what’s right even if it’s not always easy.
Let’s hold each other accountable.
*****
An extra note for the Christ follower…
Not sure about you, but I find myself living in this weird tension. This already-but-not-yet realm. What I mean is, I believe in the coming kingdom of God. I believe in the promise of an afterlife. I believe in the resurrection of the body.
So, when some person tells me to go back to my homeland, it’s ignorant and spiteful...though not technically without its merit. Hear me out.
You see, America was never my home to begin with. Nay, this world was never my home. I know I’m meant for some place else. I’m just a pilgrim in a strange land, passing through until the day of future glory.
Though I—we—shall and must mourn the gravity of the present damage, this truth is what anchors me. I’m upheld by the hope of eternal rest for those who have believed in the completed work of Christ. It is a home God is preparing for us where there exists no pain or suffering.
And, for those who have done wrong, it will be a time for permanent justice to be served. As Paul states in Romans 12:19: “For it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’” If this indeed is true, then I can reorder my anger and indignity back to their rightful place.
If the Lord has ordered my steps, I need neither fret nor be paralyzed by fear. He will guide me where I need to go. This path might not be without its trials and temptations. But, even if I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil—for He is with me.
I hope you can hold these two points of resistance and long-suffering equally in your heart.
Christian, let us remember our purpose and count our days. There will always be evil and trouble in this lifetime. The call for you and me remains the same. Go into the dark corners of this world and bring about the healing and light of Christ.
May those who have been strengthened become the strengthener of others.