It's funny, that moment when you catch a person realizing they're not where they're supposed to be.
A well-to-do couple, judging by the looks of their SLRs and leather sandals, are enjoying a vacation in San Francisco. They are walking from Market Street with shopping bags in hand. After a block the man stops in his tracks, looks at his wife, then pulls out a map. This isn't the same district they were at five minutes ago.
Today I'm turning 30.
I've been reflecting over the past few weeks on my life up to this point. The day has come sooner than I thought, though in some sense it took forever to get here. I've had many losses and triumphs, some bumps and bruises along the way that were necessary to get here in retrospect. There were also some things I thought I'd have by now that I don't.
There are moments you can plan for on a trip, but the memories you take away with you sometimes come when least expected.
The stars lit our way back home as we drove into the night. The sky was dark but not dim; in the distance tall silhouettes of trees swept by like blurred shadows. The only sound was the rolling air as we cut through the wind. Stars, trees, sky, air.
The surroundings were simple, almost cliche, but in this moment I was lost. Not forgotten, but absorbed. Into something greater and more sublime that for minutes I had ceased from the world's troubles and my own.
Ever since my college days, I've had a crush on San Francisco. I couldn't tell you why in particular. Perhaps I could mention the iconic bridges or colorful crops of houses sitting on hilltops. Or how the water surrounds the city in a way that few cities can, a gracious blue blanket inviting both warmth and adventure. I was born and raised in Southern California, and I will always call LA my home. But I cannot deny the beautiful mystery of the bay.
I'm sure this San Francisco was more a making of my imagination than anything. It makes sense because whenever I visit the city, I get to pick and choose the places I want. Travelers are afforded this privilege. We are creators of the romance and we decide how to frame the city. But when you are committed to a city as a resident, you are called to embrace her in its entirety. The good and the not-so-good parts, as they are interlocked. You can still isolate yourself to the nicer pockets, the gated communities and what not if you choose, but when you do, it is intentional. You isolate yourself knowing full well the other side of the story.