Life during this period hasn’t been easy by any stretch.
There have been many sleepless nights, many episodes of inconsolable crying and screaming. From both children. (Possibly from some adults.) Minor spats with the wife because we’re both worn-out, overworked, exhausted.
And in those moments I’ve cried out variations of “Lord, I’m so done. Can you take me right now?" Like, it’s all good if Jesus just came back and raptured us. I hate to admit it, but that’s what I was feeling. In my flesh I sought to be rescued from hardship.
I told all this to my friend Eric over dinner. He took it all in. Then he replied, "A clean manger means there's no oxen."
I didn't know it at the time, but it's a verse from Proverbs. What he meant by that is, all my complaints and struggles in the present are in fact a result of the blessing. They are tied to answered prayers from my past.
One could imagine that my farm is dirty, loud, and messy. But that's only because animals are living there. (In fact, you can say two wild beasts.) In a previous time, my manger was clean, but it was empty. And had I forgotten how hard we had prayed to conceive a healthy child? Did He not deliver—not only once, but twice?
It is human nature to forget all the good in our lives and focus only on what's off, or missing. Wisdom would have us recount all the ways we have received from above. It also prods us to take our challenges as a part of the whole.
I’m not saying this to marginalize my own difficulties, or anybody else’s for that matter. What you might be going through is real, and no matter how trivial it may seem to others, it is valid. I don’t think it’s a call to invalidate or ignore it.
But what I think we all could use is just a little perspective. Because the truth is nothing worth having in life is easy. This is true about raising kids. Yet the same could be said of a good marriage, an impactful career, or any craft or skill that requires a sense of discipline. You commit anyway, because you know deep down it’s worth it.
"So, Martin, don't complain. Don't forget, even your troubles are tied to God's blessings."
It’s still tough at times. But overall, I’m thankful. For both the good and the bad. Even now my prayers have started to look a little different at 2AM.
Thank you, God, for those little oxen, even if they like to cry and crap on me.